Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
