i may or may not be watching the land before time
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
