I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
