oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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