So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
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He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
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You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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