good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
