Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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