It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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