there was a trapeze. enough said
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
