I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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