I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
