My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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