My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
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He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize