Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
