i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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