I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
