i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
