his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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