god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
