put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
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