I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We smell like vodka and hangover
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