I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
only you would photoshop your dick
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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