hotel room ftw
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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