I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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