This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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