There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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