that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
