Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
