Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
