Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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