i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
whose parrot is this?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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