two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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