some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
