Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
