Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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