have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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