that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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