i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
