Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My pussy is not your playground.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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