the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
