friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
