toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I need to stop coming to work sober
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
