ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
