overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Ketchup is God's man juice
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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