OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
