Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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