I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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