I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
