just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
