So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
