that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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