He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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