How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize