allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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