hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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