Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
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think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
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You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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