they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
