Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize