i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
